the girl with the broken smile

I remember a song from John Mayer, about how life is depicted as a moving train, and John is the passenger who just simply over-whelmed with the thrill. That at some point he wants to just jump and stay for a while. I started to feel that I am John Mayer. That life is moving too fast, too chaotic, too complex for me to handle right now. I wanna hide but for what? Such a waste and such a lost for me if I hide. I wanna run, but to where? I know where I want to run but it feels like a long way to go from here. I wanna fall, but I already am falling. I know that I am very blessed with all the things that I have, in my hands. But I feel like there is a room in me that used to be so filled with everything, suddenly something is missing. Something important. It feels like someone is cutting my throat and therefore I don't have the capability to scream. Scream just for the sake to let go all of these hidden burdens. I want someone to hug me and give me a guarantee. That tomorrow I will be loved.

© frettyaulia, 20.02.08