You've got to bumble forward into the unknown.
A great architect said that. One that always and will take my breath away. Yes maybe he owns a definite style that at some point bores you, but there's something "fishy" and "unadjustable" of the way I admire him.
In this blog entry, I have no wish on talking architecture per se. Architecture is something that you experience more rather than write or talk. One can not describe the feelings of being in architecture because it is not just a photographic memory. There is something very absolute that speaks a volume of unabsolutism.
Like the way life treats you.
I am the kind of person who hates surprises. Because of the negative tendency I get whenever I hear that word. But at the same time, I appreciate throwing surprises to everyone I know. I love to surprise people. Back in the days where I was too naïve, I would give little things that some might think a little too much. Or like one of high school friends might say about me – “she loves to give compliments way too much to the ones she admires and looks up to”. But as I am getting older, it has worn off from my skin to throw surprises. The desire is there but the “doing” is not. Therefore, at some point, I have become the standard monster I have morbid to become. The monster that hates surprises and procrastinates.
And into the unknown, is like having surprises. The way I perceive the unknown is like the opening of “Twilight Zone” TV show. Like seeing a piece of Surrealism. Or reading some crap Freud wrote. I have had my share of being really enjoying inside the unknown. The joyful moment of being “I don’t know” has gone. Or maybe it is there but I feel I am too old to feel “I don’t know”.
Yes you can say this is so classic. Because it is. I don’t feel young. I feel so old. I have deadlines to face. I have works to do. I have list to cross. I have rules to obey. I have blah blah blah. FUCK! I feel old. And the unknown doesn’t suit with old. Surprises and surrealisms fit youngster the best. But the one who said “You’ve got to bumble forward into the unknown” is a 80ish year old man. A very old man. Why can not I be him? WHY?
Sigh..I don’t have any answers. I absolutely feel unabsolute. Abstract. I have got to bumble forward into the unknown. And I am bumbling forward into the unknown.
A great architect said that. One that always and will take my breath away. Yes maybe he owns a definite style that at some point bores you, but there's something "fishy" and "unadjustable" of the way I admire him.
In this blog entry, I have no wish on talking architecture per se. Architecture is something that you experience more rather than write or talk. One can not describe the feelings of being in architecture because it is not just a photographic memory. There is something very absolute that speaks a volume of unabsolutism.
Like the way life treats you.
I am the kind of person who hates surprises. Because of the negative tendency I get whenever I hear that word. But at the same time, I appreciate throwing surprises to everyone I know. I love to surprise people. Back in the days where I was too naïve, I would give little things that some might think a little too much. Or like one of high school friends might say about me – “she loves to give compliments way too much to the ones she admires and looks up to”. But as I am getting older, it has worn off from my skin to throw surprises. The desire is there but the “doing” is not. Therefore, at some point, I have become the standard monster I have morbid to become. The monster that hates surprises and procrastinates.
And into the unknown, is like having surprises. The way I perceive the unknown is like the opening of “Twilight Zone” TV show. Like seeing a piece of Surrealism. Or reading some crap Freud wrote. I have had my share of being really enjoying inside the unknown. The joyful moment of being “I don’t know” has gone. Or maybe it is there but I feel I am too old to feel “I don’t know”.
Yes you can say this is so classic. Because it is. I don’t feel young. I feel so old. I have deadlines to face. I have works to do. I have list to cross. I have rules to obey. I have blah blah blah. FUCK! I feel old. And the unknown doesn’t suit with old. Surprises and surrealisms fit youngster the best. But the one who said “You’ve got to bumble forward into the unknown” is a 80ish year old man. A very old man. Why can not I be him? WHY?
Sigh..I don’t have any answers. I absolutely feel unabsolute. Abstract. I have got to bumble forward into the unknown. And I am bumbling forward into the unknown.
© frettyaulia, 25.02.2008
![t h e m u s e [s]](http://bp3.blogger.com/_yIn8504mOCU/SAQuvKtx2qI/AAAAAAAAAH8/j0PcTeWtdPg/S269/god+only+knows.jpg)
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